Sir Alan’s search for his Apprentice continues…

Okay, so who saw last night’s episode of The Apprentice? The one where Sir Alan’s increasingly hapless bunch of dimwits (sorry, potential employees) had to create a bath and bodycare range? I’ve never seen anything so cringeworthy in all my life! Aside from the fact that one team actually put soggy, sticky honeycomb into a bar of soap (why they didn’t go the whole hog and include the bees I don’t know), it also featured some of the worst ‘managing’ I’ve ever seen and – to top things off – a grown man squealing at the sight of crabs (yes, the sea-dwelling variety in case you ask).

The funniest bit, of course, was ‘Oilgate’ (where poor Yasmina – a woman who says she wishes she’d been the brains behind Microsoft - confused cedarwood oil (nice but relatively cheap) and Sandalwood oil (very nice indeed and a small fortune to buy) and sent production costs soaring to such a degree that the group ended up making a loss. Failing to spot the mistake, team leader Paula (great hair, ever greater accent) claimed the raw materials would cost ‘naff all’. In fact, they came in a £700.

Now, just in case you’re reading this Yasmina, sandalwood is one of the oldest and most revered of all fragrance ingredients, comes from Mysore in India and has a wonderfully, warm, sensual and sweet aroma that’s long-lasting and fabulously masculine. Hence you find it in many men’s fragrances and as the dominant note in ones like this. Cedarwood, on the other hand, smells a bit like pencil shavings and is a natural moth-repellent. 

PS. Thumbs up to metrosexual Geordie Philip who proudly admitted to wearing a touch of slap now and then and said: “I enjoy the odd cosmetic and from past experience with former girlfriends I’ve got a fair grasp of the market.”